In a world saturated with social media, influencers, and constant comparison, it's easy to get caught up in seeking external validation. Whether it’s from likes on an Instagram post, compliments from friends, or approval from a coach, many of us rely on the opinions of others to feel worthy, especially when it comes to our health and wellness. But what if I told you that this need for validation could be holding you back from reaching your goals?
What is External Validation?
External validation is when we seek approval, recognition, or praise from others to feel good about ourselves or the actions we take. In health and wellness, this might look like:
Wanting compliments on your weight loss before you feel successful.
Waiting for someone else to notice your progress before believing in it.
Chasing after the “ideal” body type because society deems it attractive.
While it's natural to enjoy positive feedback, relying on it can create unhealthy cycles that keep us from truly owning our personal wellness journey.
The Dangers of External Validation in Health & Wellness
It Creates a Yo-Yo Effect ~ External validation can drive temporary success but often leads to long-term dissatisfaction. When your motivation to stay healthy is rooted in what others think, you might lose steam when the compliments stop or when progress isn’t visible to others. This can create a yo-yo effect in your efforts—losing weight, gaining it back, committing to the gym, then falling off the wagon—all because the underlying motivation isn't coming from within.
It Erodes Self-Worth ~ Constantly seeking approval diminishes the power of your internal voice. You might find yourself second-guessing your progress or feeling unworthy if you're not receiving praise. Over time, this erodes self-worth, making it harder to maintain habits that require inner belief and dedication, like sticking to a plant-based diet or a challenging fitness regimen.
It Undermines True Wellness ~ Wellness is more than just physical appearance—it’s about feeling good in your body and mind. When we focus too much on external validation, we risk overlooking the deeper aspects of wellness: mental clarity, energy levels, and emotional health. Achieving the body others admire might come at the cost of stress, anxiety, or unhealthy behaviours if it’s not in alignment with what truly makes you feel well.
Shifting the Focus to Internal Validation
Celebrate Small Wins for Yourself ~ Instead of waiting for someone to notice your progress, take a moment to appreciate the small wins. Did you run an extra mile today? Did you make a healthy choice at lunch? These moments are the foundation of your success, and recognizing them builds self-trust and intrinsic motivation.
Set Goals that Reflect Your Values ~ Ask yourself: What does health and wellness truly mean to me? This question helps you set goals that are aligned with your personal values, not societal expectations. Maybe it’s about having more energy to play with your kids or finding peace through yoga and meditation. When your goals are rooted in what you value, the need for external validation fades.
Use Affirmations and Mindfulness ~ Affirmations and mindfulness practices can be powerful tools for breaking free from the need for external approval. Use affirmations that reinforce your worth, regardless of how others perceive you: "I am enough" or "I honour my body and health journey." Mindfulness can help you stay present and grounded in your own progress, rather than seeking constant feedback from others.
Ultimately, the key to lasting success in health and wellness is cultivating internal validation. When you shift your focus from what others think to how you feel, you create a sustainable and fulfilling journey that honours your body, mind, and spirit. Remember, true transformation comes from within—not from the approval of others.
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By grounding yourself in internal validation and self-empowerment, you can create lasting health and wellness results—ones that are sustainable and deeply rewarding. If you’re struggling to let go of external validation, remember that this journey is about you. It’s about learning to trust yourself, believe in your progress, and celebrate every step along the way.
Questions to Reflect On:
How often do I rely on others' approval to feel good about my health or fitness progress?
What goals do I have that are aligned with my personal values, not just society’s standards?
How can I celebrate my own small wins today?
Write down three ways you’ve made progress in your wellness journey that others may not have noticed. Reflect on how these changes make you feel. Keep these wins close as a reminder that the most important validation comes from within.
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